So, it's been a few days.  Been a really busy week, so glad it's Friday!  Of course, being self-employed kind of defeats the fun of the weekend.  I only have to look around at everything I need to be doing, and I'm back at work.

Megan and I went over to pick up Lunch Meat this morning.  That's an old photo of him, from a previous stay.  Isn't he adorable?  He is the sweetest little guy, and I wish he came over more often.  He's here for the weekend this time.

So, it's the first of July.  This used to be a really hard day for me.  Today is the 42nd anniversary of my mother's death, next week is the second anniversary of my father's.  I was 8 when my mother killed herself.  Of course, at the time, we weren't told the truth about how she died.  It was a nebulous "heart condition".  My older brother told me the truth when I was in my twenties.  To this day, nobody can say whether her overdose was accidental or not, but I don't guess it matters.  I spent a lot of years agonizing over how my mother could have chosen to leave 4 kids.  My little brother was only 7 at the time.  I finally accepted that I would never know.  I would like to believe that it was accidental, but, irregardless, it was selfish.  She was apparently hooked on prescription barbiturates.  I guess it was acceptable in the late 60's to get through the day using "mother's little helpers", but, legal or not, she was a junkie.  She left 4 kids with a man who had no concept on how to be a parent.  I don't know if he was abusive before she died (I don't remember much), but he damn sure was after.  I can't imagine leaving Megan all alone, and she has a great father.  Look how much I would have missed!  I understand feeling hopeless, but I believe things can always get better.  We can't be victims of circumstance unless we choose to be.  Bad stuff happens to everyone, it only matters what you do with it when it does.  If I've learned anything, it's to not give up.  You may have to change the path you're taking, but that's okay.  I screw up all the time, and sometimes I even learn from it!  Sometimes, I keep repeating the same mistakes until it penetrates my hard head to stop.  When that happens, I try to just resolve to make tomorrow better.

Enough preaching - I really have to try to make it look like I accomplished something today...