Catching Up

I didn't realize it had been ten days since I last put my thoughts down!  While I'm doing other things, I often think of things I want to write, then don't take the time to sit down and do it.  Coming into my office and working at the desk always becomes a production, and I don't like to blog on my phone.  I'm not one of those people who can text w/o thinking.  It's tough enough to type.  I never took typing in high school (yes, I'm old enough to remember typing class!).  I always maintained I would have a secretary, not be a secretary.  Well, neither is the case.  I really wish I had taken some computer classes, because I've found that I love working on it, and wish I knew more.

As I type, Ricky is in my chair with me, Bitsy is under the desk, and Zeus is beside it.  Tico and Turnip are on the back of the couch.  I guess it's their shift on the security detail.  Peanut is in the hall, in her bed.  I really need to have a discussion with our security staff.  Megan told me that, last night, while she and Ricky were in the living room, something small came in the doggie door in the kitchen and ate all the dry dog food.  Ricky barked, and it left.  A while later, she heard the dog food bowl being pushed around on the floor.  The other 5 dogs were all in bed with me, and heard nothing!  I'm guessing it's a chipmunk, Charlie says it must be a small possum.  Why does the thought of a chipmunk amuse me, and a possum give me the heebie jeebies?  It could be the PR they get, or, more likely, that chipmunks are cute, and possums are decidedly not!  Whatever, tonite I lock the doggie door!  The babies can just wake me up if they need to go out.

We couldn't stop laughing at Turnip and Tico last night.  That's a couple of photos of Turnip.  If you'll look at the bird bell in the top photo, it will give you an idea of how small Turnip is.  He weighs about 3 pounds.  The bottom photo is the usual view he gives us!  Anyway, yesterday Megan and I took Tico to have her nails done and teeth brushed.  When we got home, it was obvious that Turnip had missed her.  He followed her everywhere, trying to, well, hump her.  At times, he would be so tired from chasing her that he would just sit there with his chin resting on her back, completely done in.  Tico is usually very patient w/Turnip, and loves playing with him.  Not last night! She would snap at him, and he didn't care.  She went under the covers on the bed, he followed.  She got in one of our laps, Turnip was right there.  Finally they both collapsed from exhaustion.  This morning Turnip tried with Bitsy, but she was having none of that!  One serious snap, and Turnip apparently decided to give himself a day off.

I was tootling around the Internet the other day, and came across the reunion page for my high school class.  I didn't graduate because I got married at 17, so no reunion for me.  It was cool to see where all my classmates ended up, sad to see how many had passed away.  There were a couple of folks I looked for, and didn't find.  Wonder where they are?  Do you think anyone wonders where I am?  I was so in and out of high schools that I doubt it.  I was a classic wallflower in school.

If any of you are in Newnan, we're having a sale at The Vintage Flea next week.  All handmade purses and teddy bears are 10% off.  If you "friend" the Flea on FB, you'll get notices of all the sales.  The stuff in the store changes all the time, so check it out!

I've really got to play catch up on housework today, so that I can sew this weekend.  We'll talk soon!

Venting

I'm back!  I had every intention of updating this sooner, but life got in the way.  I've mentioned several times that I've been doing our new brochure for FolkFest.  Well, it's done (I hope).  As I type, I've sent a proof to Meg to get opinions and suggestions.  I'm sure she'll have a few!

Anyway...  My buddy Zeus came over today, to stay 4 nights.  I get such a kick out of him.  He's big, about the size of a German Shepherd.  He follows me all over the house, except into the basement.  When I go down to do laundry, he sits at the top of the stairs and moans.  Any time Charlie gets close to me, he barks like he's going to take out a piece of him.  Don't get me wrong - he likes Charlie, he just doesn't want him near me.  All of this wouldn't be so funny if he didn't also let all three chihuahuas order him around.  Also, when Trevor comes to pick him up, Zeus leaves me without a backward glance.  I used to have boyfriends like that.

I did get away from the computer long enough this weekend to make new seat covers for Charlie's truck, and I'm pretty proud of them.  He had bought some really ugly ones, so he was glad to replace them.  They look SO much better than what he had!

I'll be 51 this week, and I'm surprised that it doesn't bother me.  When I consider the alternative to getting older, I'll take the birthday!

I haven't checked in for a few days. Shame on me!  I really only plan on writing for a few minutes. I've been on the computer all day. I'm designing the new brochure in time for FolkFest, and edited photos until a few minutes ago. Now I just hope we can work out our booth issues tomorrow. I absolutely hate waiting for people to return calls or emails! That's the bad part about cellphones and computers. I expect people to be accessible at all times, but, by the same token, I don't want to be accessed!

In all honesty, I have a lot I want to write about, but I can't stand to sit here any longer! More in the am...

It's Sunday night, and my cable is out, so I'm listening to Pandora.  Feeling nostalgic, I'm jumping from 70's love songs to old country. It's funny how many songs are about how sorry someone is that they cheated.  Not to state the obvious, but, DUH! I really don't get the "why" of cheating.  Maybe it's because I've been with Charlie so long, but I don't understand the desire to go after "strange". Even in my first marriage, at it's worst, I never thought about stepping out.  I guess it's just a foreign concept to me.

I am enjoying my musical interlude, though. Normally, the only time I listen to the radio is in the car.  Listening to these songs remind me of when we first started doing art shows and markets.  We lived in Douglasville then, and it always seemed like a long drive home on Saturday night.  We would turn on "Country Gold Saturday Night" and sing along.  Some of the songs even remind me of sitting in honky-tonks in Texas many years ago, and dancing to "belt buckle rubbing" music.  Okay, now I feel old!

It's been a routine weekend.  Lunch Meat is still here, and all the dogs got a bath today.  Baths have to be done in a certain order. Tico has to go first, because if she sees anyone else getting bathed, she goes into hiding.  Bitsy's next, cuz she's in the bathroom, checking on Tico and easily caught.  Peanut is the easiest to catch, because she's moving slowly these days.  The easiest to bathe is the Luncher, obviously he is groomed more often than my girls!

We're trying to work out the logistics of FolkFest in August.  In previous years, we've shared space with Winder Binder, and it's gone well.  Charlie wants more space this year, so he's looking at other options.  Of course, the festival is in August, so we're starting late.  Nothing like planning ahead!

I'm hoping to use FolkFest to connect with more galleries.  Megan is helping me design a new brochure to introduce Charlie and his art.  We are not graphic artists, so it's not going well!

I'm thinking about my friend, Tina Torrance, tonight.  She's in the hospital.  I know she must be scared, worried about what's going to happen, so I'm saying a prayer tonight.  I hope you will, too.  Every time I've seen or spoken with Tina, she's been so upbeat and loving.  Lousy things happen to good people.

The cable's on - YAY!  More in a few days...

So, it's been a few days.  Been a really busy week, so glad it's Friday!  Of course, being self-employed kind of defeats the fun of the weekend.  I only have to look around at everything I need to be doing, and I'm back at work.

Megan and I went over to pick up Lunch Meat this morning.  That's an old photo of him, from a previous stay.  Isn't he adorable?  He is the sweetest little guy, and I wish he came over more often.  He's here for the weekend this time.

So, it's the first of July.  This used to be a really hard day for me.  Today is the 42nd anniversary of my mother's death, next week is the second anniversary of my father's.  I was 8 when my mother killed herself.  Of course, at the time, we weren't told the truth about how she died.  It was a nebulous "heart condition".  My older brother told me the truth when I was in my twenties.  To this day, nobody can say whether her overdose was accidental or not, but I don't guess it matters.  I spent a lot of years agonizing over how my mother could have chosen to leave 4 kids.  My little brother was only 7 at the time.  I finally accepted that I would never know.  I would like to believe that it was accidental, but, irregardless, it was selfish.  She was apparently hooked on prescription barbiturates.  I guess it was acceptable in the late 60's to get through the day using "mother's little helpers", but, legal or not, she was a junkie.  She left 4 kids with a man who had no concept on how to be a parent.  I don't know if he was abusive before she died (I don't remember much), but he damn sure was after.  I can't imagine leaving Megan all alone, and she has a great father.  Look how much I would have missed!  I understand feeling hopeless, but I believe things can always get better.  We can't be victims of circumstance unless we choose to be.  Bad stuff happens to everyone, it only matters what you do with it when it does.  If I've learned anything, it's to not give up.  You may have to change the path you're taking, but that's okay.  I screw up all the time, and sometimes I even learn from it!  Sometimes, I keep repeating the same mistakes until it penetrates my hard head to stop.  When that happens, I try to just resolve to make tomorrow better.

Enough preaching - I really have to try to make it look like I accomplished something today...

Day 6

I ventured out of my comfort zone today.  Less than 5 miles from my house is a neighborhood that is primarily Indian.  In my constant search for brass, I decided to visit some of the stores there.  Normally, I am reluctant to approach strangers, especially those that speak with an accent.  This isn't prejudice on my part.  I have a slight hearing problem, and am afraid of offending people by asking them to repeat themselves.  Accents make it even harder for me to understand.  However, being entirely out of my element, I had no choice.  I found that every person I spoke with was terribly helpful.  It bothers me that I'm surprised by that.  I don't think of myself as racist, yet I guess in some ways I am.  Any time I judge a person by their color or national origin, I'm a bigot.  I'm going to work on that.

After visiting the boutiques, I went into Patel Brothers.  It's an Indian grocery store.  As I looked around, I realized how out of place I was.  My shorts and tank top were inappropriate among the saris and head coverings, and my language was not the one being spoken.  I had just a tiny taste of what it must be like to be an immigrant.  I can't imagine the courage it takes to come to a totally foreign country, and try to build a life.  My whole attitude towards the folks around me are now changing.

I also went to the mall, and ended up lost!  I knew what store I had come in through, but could not find it in order to leave.  This must be why Megan usually goes shopping with me. 

Day 5 - More

I gave up early today, and went to bed.  Unfortunately, I was so frustrated that even my book couldn't hold my attention, and that's unheard of for me.  I will read almost anything.  No matter what I'm doing around the house, I carry my book from room to room.  I don't leave the house without a book in my purse.  Megan is the same way.  That's perhaps the most valuable thing I've taught her.  When I was a kid, I was pretty unhappy most of the time.  My Aunt Lou, who helped raise me, showed me that, no matter how bad real life was, I could escape into another world through a book.  I don't think I would have survived a lot of the stuff that happened when I was younger without that escape.  I used to imagine myself becoming an author.  How do people who don't read fill up their lives?

I mentioned being frustrated.  I spent the entire day at my worktable, and it was a complete waste.  Nothing went together the way I wanted it to.  There seem to be days where everything works, and then days like today.  After the first couple of failures, I should have read the writing on the wall.  Of course, that made me all the more determined to make things right.  I think I get a little too ambitious, and fail to recognize both my own limitations and the limitations of my materials.  I want these bird feeders to immediately catch the eye, and completely avoid being "cute".  Well, everything I made today was cute!Finally at 7:00, I turned off both soldering irons and made myself walk away.  Hence, the frustration!

There, now I have vented - I feel better.  I think I'll go back to my book.

Day 5

So, okay, it's been a few days.  I've been bebopping from one task to another, one place to another, and never accomplishing everything I want to.  They say a man's reach should not exceed his dreams.  For me, it's that a woman's accomplishments must not exceed her list!  I can't imagine a day where I wake up without immediate thought of what I need to get done that day.  Of course, I never get it all done.  This blog is definitely one of those things that often go undone!

One thing I did do was go to Deborah and Paul Flack's house.  They are kind enough to keep us supplied with Freon tanks for pigs.  Anyway, I love, love, LOVE their house!  It's funky, cool and has an incredible work space for Deb.  I am pea green with envy.  I often use the excuse that if I had more room, I could do more.  Their house is about the same size as mine, but it's clear they have really figured out ways to use every inch.  Of course, I came home and looked at my house with a different eye.  I see lots of work around here in Charlie's future!

I keep working on these dadgummed bird feeders.  They didn't sell so well at our last show, but neither did anything else.  I consider the show this weekend to be their second "test run".  If they don't sell there, I may give them up.  I'm desperately trying to find something uniquely mine.  At one time, I was going great guns on my stained glass.  The pieces I did, especially the light boxes, got a good reception, but I found myself wandering away from the glass.  First off, the materials are really pretty expensive.  Then, when I finish a piece, people don't want to pay what it's worth.  I'm not one of those people who make art for the love of art!  If it doesn't pay for itself, it's outta here!  I guess I'm a bit of a dilettante, flitting from one "passion" to another.  Ultimately, I'll find my niche.

It's that time of year for afternoon thunderstorms here in Atlanta.  I normally love rain and thunder, with lots of noise.  Not so much this year.  Ricky is a great dog who's spending the summer with me.  He barks when there is a dark cloud, and will not shut up when it thunders!  This makes Tico, Bitsy and Turnip bark.  I don't know if the three sopranos are barking because of the thunder, or on general principle.  Poor old Peanut.  As she gets older, she gets more afraid in general.  When the others start, she just comes to me shivering.  I've found that if I put her in my lap, or sit with her on my bed, she seems to feel better.  I worry this might be the last summer we have Peanut with us.  She's just the sweetest, most loving girl.

I'm hopeful you will judge this blog by what it says, not it's length.  The dryer timer is buzzing, calling my name...

http://soundcloud.com/algya/fireworks-lea-michelle-glee
I love, love , love this song! 

Taking a short break from bird feeders.  Knock on wood, everything's going together nicely today. It's been a learning process.  Since I use various metals - brass, steel, silver, lead, etc. - I've had to figure out soldering methods that work best for joining them.  The dogs have learned not to lay at my feet, since hot solder has a tendency to "spit" and drop!  One day, I might even learn to wear shoes when I'm working - I have come up with a few new dance steps, though.

I discovered today that alcohol works great at removing extra flux (in case you ever need to know).  I should, but don't, wear gloves when I'm working  As a result, my hands really suffer.  I don't want to come off like a commercial, but I have found a couple of things that work.  Before starting, use a "buffer" lotion.  I like both Silicone Glove by Avon, or Gold Bond.  Walmart now has a generic Gold Bond that they sell under the "Equate" name.  I keep it all over the house, in hopes that I'll remember to use it.

Silver polish, soldering chemicals, and extreme heat really do a number on my nail polish.  I'm too cheap to pay for manicures and acrylic nails, but I really try to keep my nails looking good.  I've found a Green Tea Nail Dryer from Family Dollar that actually dries the polish quickly, and makes it last longer.

Obviously, I'm a discount shopper!  If you get nothing else from reading this, maybe I can pass along a few of the cheap options I have found.  You should have something to show for taking the time to read this.  By the way, I really do appreciate the people who do take the time.  I know how sparse free time can be.

Day Three

I always have great plans, but lousy follow through.  This is a prime example!  I was determined to write something every day, but I haven't.  There are just some days when I can't find the time.  Bear with me...

Megan was here the last two days.  Yesterday we went to Newnan to check out our stock at The Vintage Flea, and run errands.  We're running a special on steel figures until Father's Day.  I can only hope traffic picks up before Sunday!

Still have all six dogs here.  Last night we had some thunderstorms, and I didn't realize how many of them are afraid of thunder until then!  Ricky & Tico barked constantly, and Turnip and Peanut shivered and hid under blankets.  I felt bad for them, but would probably have been more sympathetic if it had not been so noisy!

It's all over the news about Weiner.  Are you as tired of it as I am?  Okay, the guy lacks the common sense of a yard chicken, and his morals probably suck, but none of that is earth shattering news.  Life went on after Tiger Woods, after Governor Sandford, after Governor Schwarzenegger, we will probably survive Congressman Weiner.  Really, what actual effect will this news have on my life?  I'm thinking none.

There is an author whom I consider a friend, even though I've only met him once.  If you're looking for a great weekend read, pick up "The Real" by James Cole.  It's available on Amazon, Kindle or real book!  James was at our table, along with Bebo and Betty Daniels, at an awards dinner for an art show in Orange Beach.  None of us won any awards, but I almost didn't care.  I found that I could barely talk because James had me laughing so hard!  It's my understanding that he will be here for the Decatur Book Festival on Labor Day weekend.   I'm hoping he can carve out some time for Charlie and me to take him out to dinner.  If you get a chance, check out his webpage - www.secretrealms.com.

I'm counting on spending the entire day at home tomorrow.  I have several silver bird feeders partially constructed, and the plan is to finish as many as possible.  We probably will be doing an art show in Alpharetta next weekend, and I'm anxious to see what kind of feedback I get.  I'm never comfortable showing something I've made.  I figure that people are thinking "I could do that", and they probably could!  I'm an illustration of the difference between an artist and a crafter - I'm merely a crafter.  When we go to art shows, I'm totally intimidated by what I see.  Obviously, talent is something you are born with.  Charlie can teach me techniques, but he can't teach me creativity.  Put me in front of a sewing machine, and I can make anything.  Unfortunately, in my case, that doesn't translate into other genres.  I'm still trying to find my niche.  Have no doubt, one day I will!

More Day 2

The other day, I "accidentally" watched Raising Hope.  Actually, I was in the bathtub, and couldn't reach the remote!  Anyway, I found myself halfway watching it.  I couldn't tell you the plot, but there was one line at the end that really resonated with me.  Someone said, "If you quit dreaming, you're just sleeping".  I really like that.  Sometimes I get so complacent, just coasting along.  On one side, I am really content.  On the other, I do sometimes ask if this is all there is.  I remember being young, with all kinds of crazy dreams.  Obviously, the majority of them didn't come true.  I didn't really dream about where I am now, with a husband who adores me and a daughter who still seems to enjoy spending time with me occasionally.  I figured that really being happy was an unattainable dream, something I didn't deserve.  Am I not being greedy if I ask for more?  Next question - what more would I ask for?  I've always wanted success, but my definition changes as I get older.  Once upon a time, home and family constituted success.  Now, I find I want just a little more.  There's that pesky word again - more.  I think what I mean is better.  I want to be a better wife, a better mom, a better friend, a better housekeeper, a better everything.  I want to be more creative, better read, more educated.  The problem, as I see it, is that it's a whole lot easier to want it than it is to do it.  If I don't try to improve myself, I can't fail at it.  It's so easy to surround myself with inspirational sayings, yet hard to believe them.

I really ought to serve cheese with all this whine!  I guess it's a good thing no one reads this blog.  I've never been much of a journal keeper, so this is my substitute.

Day 2

This blog seemed like a good idea at the time.  I'm afraid that today I'm using it as an excuse to avoid any real work.  The plan today was to work on my silver bird feeders, but I really don't feel "inspired".  Really, I'm just lazy, and I know how dirty I'll be when I stop!  In the meantime, I keep finding little things to do around the house - put some ribs on to roast, looked up a new recipe for butternut squash, did laundry, picked up after the dogs, etc.  Don't feel like I accomplished anything, so when I leave the computer, I promise I will either start soldering or polishing silver!

You know that phrase "If you lay down with dogs, you wake up with fleas"?  Well, last night was a new twist on that.  If you lay down with 5 dogs in a queen size bed, you get up and watch television at 3 am!  I absolutely love that the dogs want to be with me, but I really wish they would turn it off at night.  Between 1 dog having legs that are about 3 feet long, and 2 of them having hay fever, it was a long night.  Yes, hay fever!  It wasn't time to give them their Benadryl, so I laid there listening to them honk and sniffle like two old men.  Of course, today they are all passed out around the house.  I guess they are resting up for a repeat performance tonight.

I actually wanted this blog to be a reflection on being a "muse".  Oxford Dictionary defines a muse as "
…a woman, or a force personified as a woman, who is the source of inspiration for a creative artist…".  That's not quite how I think of myself.  Charlie has all the creativity, but deep down inside, I feel like I help it all happen.  There is nothing normal about living with an artist.  In many way, it's great.  He has an incredible sense of humor, art has truly kept him young, and we have a diverse and treasured circle of friends.  What people don't see is the drudgery.  Someone has to schedule shows, find raw material, coordinate, and, above all, make sure he shows a profit.  I'm amazed by the artists who do it all by themselves.  Just my part feels like a full-time job some days.

I feel like I'm starting to whine, so I'll write more later.  Maybe after I actually do something today...

Day One

Okay, this is my first day as a blogger.  I'm not sure why anyone might want to read it, but we'll see!

First and foremost, I am a wife and mother.  Most of my waking, and a lot of sleeping, hours are spent taking care of,and thinking about, Charlie's stuff.  He is a folk artist, and also owns a remodeling and handyman business.  He has all kinds of talent, and I try to help keep everything running smoothly.  There are a whole lot of days that my name is simply "Charlie's Wife".

My other name is "Megan's Mom".  Yes, I know she's a grown up, doesn't need me, and all that, but I still need to be Mom.  I'm lucky that she helps me with the art business, because we get to spend a lot of time together.  I can honestly say she's my best friend.  Some days she's my only friend!

That's not quite true.  I have three dogs, and most of the time, they're very fond of me.  Today, maybe not so much.  I'm also a dog sitter, and this week we have a total of 6 dogs in the house.  It's first come, first served on laps and dog beds!

I'm really having a tough time writing this.  I absolutely can't imagine why anyone would be interested in what I have to say!  As a "woman of a certain age" (50), I've been taught to step back and not call attention to myself.  This whole blog idea runs counter to that.  I guess I'll just pretend I'm talking to myself, assume no one is reading, and use this as therapy.  God knows, I need it!